"I wish that I was dead fucking vomit on McFlurry"
What a great quote this title is, isn't it?
"Toy Barn" is a truly amazing song, and even better, everything SEMATARY produced/wrote with GHOST MOUNTAIN on the HAUNTED MOUND alias is nothing but pure edginess bliss, a sincere kind of edgy that takes you to truly simpler times, in which the underground really was the underground, and niche could stay niche without going astray towards popularity. You see, when I sit down with my "BORN TO DIE WORLDS A FUCK" shirt, and pump into the speakers my "Grave House" home-burnt CD, it really feels like I belong to a quality small group — like the quiet kid that would show up to class with a "Filosofem" black T-shirt on the 90's. SEMATARY is the epithet of the mid-to-late-2010's edgy culture, with his box cutters and big-ass rock shoes, wearing bunny costumes while lurking in the forest at dawn, or at least imagining how cool that would be and putting it in a song. An example, per se, of what being a cool kid actually is about, standing his ground to this day producing banger after banger and being the patriarch of his own ingenious style. The problem is when you zoom out a little bit to check whoever else is under the main line with him, and there aren't that many stars shining as bright.
We live in a time where if you go downtown to a café or what gives, everywhere you look there's going to be a new "blue-haired-independent-mind", or a "50-inch-tall-mohawk-experimental-post-punk-rockstar", or a "wannabe-rasta-that-can't-afford-to-take-a-shower". Small groups became kind of a really popular thing in this freshly-new informational era. People are thirsty to belong, but being in the same group as your mom with the "boomer-popular" is somehow not enough, and the younglings have to crawl their way into the deepest layers of society. If most of the youth actually managed to crawl deep enough, though, I'd be pretty proud of human kind, but that's not how shit works, so they just dig about enough to find the first pipeline to throw themselves into, hence the rainbow-colored heads everywhere and the "I'm not like the other girls" movement, and the "k-pop is the purest form of music" people, and the Twitter bios that boast over genders and pronouns in name of individuality, when in reality that is just another form of belonging to a sloth-ful group, to feel like you're special without doing anything to be actually special.
That's why I take pride on SEMATARY fans and people that stay with GOTHBOICLIQUE not because of Lil Peep, but because of their whole shtick, because of WICCA PHASE SPRINGS ETERNAL and Cold Hart and Horse Head and Lil Tracy and all that good stuff; pride on the kids I see walking around with MACHINE GIRL and Death Classic shirts, showing to the world what they love, not worrying about being accepted by the other self-pronounced outcasts. I love going to a Twitter profile and not seeing a "they/them/zey/zem/sip/pis/shis/shits" on a bio.
After all, I'm a veteran in terms of underground culture. I was the 10-something-yo girl wearing a XXXXL "Metal Up Your Ass" shirt as a dress in the early 2010's, playing at bars in exchange for cheap beer while being underage and throwing up on most of the town's porches. And to this day still doing gigs alone with bass/vocal and writing a Blogger blog about hentai criticism. When I'm sat at a bistro and see a group of "you misgendered me" girls passing by, talking about the latest k-pop dance, it really confuses me how it got this bad.
Maybe I'm too old for this shit, now, barely starting my twenties, but I'm still a drinking cotton candy Rockstar, hit me up on tumblr, true religion rocker with carboard boxcutters.
As a final note, what actually made me write this entry was exploring the Websites tab on Neocities, and seeing all the edgy kids' websites. I honestly love them so much, despite the over-exaggerated edginess, but it's such a care they put on their creations, that I feel like I'm visiting their own bedrooms, seeing them Limp Bizkit posters everywhere, and bookshelfs full of random CDs bought on sale. I don't have half the willpower they do to make my website do that much, but one day I'll learn to embed .gifs and it will be super fun.