my first fanart
Recently a friend of mine and one of my favorite readers sent me this
It's a drawing inspired by my latest creation called "A tale about being a grown up on a rainy day", something I wrote to let out what I was feeling at the time, being stuck at home because of a week-long rain. Like everything else I put in that dumpster blog, this post was just a little something for me to come back to in a few weeks and say "hey, this is actually so nice. Would you look at that, maybe I really am a good writer." and then not touch it again for years after. Surprisingly even for me, I really do care about what I put on NIGHTMARE MIRROR (the blog), and despite the bunch of times people came to me and said "hey, I felt that", or "you really should get this stuff printed", or even "how many views does this blog get? I'm surprised I didn't knew about it sooner", it still surprises me everytime anyone gives me any kind of feedback. To me, it's hard to see what I put out publicly as public, because everything I do has always so much of this "personal substance" that it affects my perception of my own stuff. In other words, I write for myself and it's so strange when people let me know they are reading it too, but it's a strange-good, a strange that gives me butterflies and, when I received this drawing, first thing I did was jump to the printer and put it up my office wall.
Looking at it now still gives me that strange feeling, something I'm still trying to understand; a secret kind of pleasure I can't really explain. What I put up on that blog, what I write on my notebooks, what I'm thinking right now, it's all the same to me, and when someone reads my writings it's like they're visiting my mind. I feel like a theme park in which I'm as much the attractions as I am a visitor and the tickets going around and the fun people are having. When they're happy I smile, when they're sad I lay down and cry. Je suis sensible, any wind can blow me away, but any droplet of water will help me grow another branch. That drawing not only grew another branch from my head, but put a nest with some beautiful plovers on it.
Imagine inspiring someone... isn't that amazing?